As a 22 year old college student living Provo, there are a lot of things out of my control. A particularly pertinent example of this is when I get married. People will often say "When I get married, I will be happy." Quite frequently I find myself frustrated because my mind subconsciously will dwell on this matter. What intensifies this thought is my natural tendency to want to have order and control in my life. However, I've learned and continue to be reminded of the importance of focusing on what you can control and how that is fundamentally one of the keys to happiness. Below are some things in my day to day life that I have control over and can hopefully aid to increase your levels of happiness. Of course, the list is not limited to the following.
Allow God into Your Life
In the book "He Restoreth My Soul" by Donald L. Hilton Jr., MD, a man shares his recovery story. Towards the end of his story, he mentions an experience where he heard God say to him "Get up, do your part, and I will do what you cannot do." As I read this, I realized much of the frustration I feel can be avoided by believing that God expects ONLY what you CAN do and that He will do the rest. Writing in a gratitude journal every day can help you focus on what you have been given and instill hope for all the things that God will continue to bless you with. Like the man mentioned above, you could ask yourself this question frequently throughout the day: "What can I do to feel His grace this day?"
Stop to Smell the Flowers
On Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D.'s second episode "Waking Up At Princeton" on the "Happiness Podcast," he shares an experience that changed the trajectory for how to live his life. When he was a Master's student at Princeton, he had made lots of accomplishments in his degree and had been accepted into one of the top Ph.D. clinical psychology programs in the US. One spring morning towards the end of his journey at Princeton, he decided to spend a view hours at a park to just hang out, something he had not be able to do his entire time at Princeton, because he was so busy and caught up in achieving. That day, Dr. Puff realized that he had wasted away the opportunity those three years at Princeton of enjoying the scenery around campus and "the process of enjoying life as it happens." Sometimes, I too get caught up in the busyness of wanting to achieve that I forget to smell the flowers. If you're like me and need to be constantly doing something, some things I have done previously is unplugging from listening to music when you usually would (i.e. on the way to work and school) to look around you and be mindful of your surroundings. When I stopped to do this winter semester, I noticed more people I knew walk past me on campus and was more in tune with my physical, mental, and spiritual needs.
Limit Phone Usage
I initially wanted to label this section as "Limit Time on Social Media," however I believe nine times out of ten when people pick up their phone to check their bank account balance or message a family member or friend, they also subconsciously scroll through their social media accounts. If you're not sold on this idea, I'm pretty sure it does not take 3-4 hours per day to check your bank account balance or send a few quick texts. Let the Sunday morning "Screen Time" report serve as a reminder to change, myself included. Whatever your intent is when you pick up your phone, I encourage you to set your own boundaries. For me, most of my screen time comes from playing on chess.com during study breaks or after coming home from work. Of course, mental breaks are necessary and essential, however if boundaries are not well established, I could find myself playing game after game. Eventually, a study break that was intended only to be 5-10 minutes could result in an hour of wasted time playing more games of chess and aimlessly scrolling through social media. The result is setting down my phone feeling restless, anxious, disappointed, and frustrated, which was not the intent of my study break. It is a lot easier to practice self control when you set boundaries. Some things I have recently started to do during my mental breaks is reading a book. I am not saying you cannot pick up your phone for a mental break, but think to yourself, "What am I gaining from viewing social media for a study break?" Another thing I have started to do is setting an alarm for 10pm on my phone to turn off my phone. The time allotted after 10pm allows me to get ready for bed, which may include writing in my journal, reading a book, praying and mediating. Not saying I need to go to bed at 10pm, but turning off my phone at the very least allows my mind and body to wind down and reflect on the days' events.