This last week has been a roller-coaster. Last Saturday morning on my run, I started to have some pain in my shoulder. I came back and throughout the day I felt my body becoming more fatigued and tired. Sunday morning, I had some symptoms for COVID: fever, body ache, chills, and throbbing headache. Luckily, I was able to get tested Sunday and receive my results the next day. Thankfully, I tested negative. I probably contracted the common flu from someone at the gym. Thank you to all those who sent prayers and messages my way and went out of their way to get me food and medicine. Although there were things that I hadn’t been able to do this last week, like attend fun activities at work and with my ward, there is a lot that I have learned and am grateful for.
Gratitude
The day I was supposed to move out, I was awoken at 2:30am by the sound of vacuuming coming from my neighbors living upstairs. They too, were cleaning frantically like everyone else. That night I went to bed at midnight, exhausted from packing and cleaning the entire day. Initially, I was irritated by my neighbors disturbing my sleep and thought they were so inconsiderate to be vacuuming at 2:30am in the morning. However upon getting up to check up on my roommate who was cleaning the kitchen, I realized I had much more to do before I moved out at 9:00am. Miraculously I still had some energy in me and was able to get what I needed done. I know for a fact that if I was not awoken by the sound of the vacuum cleaner, I would not have been able to move out on time. I know that God is aware of our situation, knows our limitations, and loves and cares about each of us.
God’s Timing
While bedridden, the fear of not being able to go back to California loomed over my head. If I tested positive, I would need to self-quarantine for 14-days. This would mean 1) I would need to extend my stay at my apartment complex past the move-out day, which would be a huge pain in the neck and 2) I wouldn’t get the break I deserved after a year of straight school and work, which would be a huge let down. There was a point this last week where I was frustrated with God and I furiously asked God why He would do this to me. Miraculously, I was able to recover just in the nick of time before I needed to move out and fly back to California.
Looking back, I see that God was testing my faith and wanted me to rely on Him. There was a point where I was feeling so much pain that I told God that I would serve Him and do whatever He asked me to do if I got better from my sickness. We are on this Earth to be tried. To be tested. To be pushed to our limits. To see if we will put our entire trust in Him, through both the good and the bad. “He wants us to be faithful, not faithless” (President Stephen W. Owen)
I invite everyone to include in their prayers each day the ability to see the hand of God work in your lives. As you do, you will begin to see that God does not put trials in our lives simply to watch and laugh with the intention to annoy and irritate you. His nature is to love us unconditionally. He wants us to experience more joy than we have ever felt, but in order to do that, we must also experience pain and sadness. He is a God of miracles. "Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God" (D&C 18:10).