Last week I learned that one of the reasons my mom said yes to my dad when he proposed to her was because he had read Stephen R. Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and actually owned a copy of it in Japanese when they met in Japan. I personally have not read this book yet, however one principle that has been reiterated to me growing from my mom has been Covey’s second habit “Begin with the End in Mind.” This last week marked the first week of online classes, back to work, and BYU social life. It’s been all pretty stressful getting into the groove of my new schedule, and by the end of the week, all I wanted to do was sleep. I’ve had times throughout the week where my mind would be cluttered with all my classes, assignments, and due dates. This would leave me feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and irritated.
Treat Yourself
On Friday after studying consecutively for a few hours, I got hungry and wanted to treat myself to Chiptotle. I love Chiptotle. However as I was driving, I started thinking about going to eat at Sushiya, the restaurant that I worked at last summer. I ended up choosing Sushiya over Chiptotle, even though I would have to pay the dinner price ;,) but hey, I deserved it and 32 pieces of sushi later I was very full and satisfied. A reminder to intentionally be treating yourself once a week!
Connect, Connect, Connect
We can not go throughout life alone. Let me rephrase this, we can not go throughout life AND succeed alone. We all have challenges. We all have struggles. On Friday, I felt so dead and tired, all I wanted was to curl up in a ball and play chess on my phone. As an introvert, this is my way of recharging. However, I am also aware that I need to be socially interacting every day. I decided to go play Just Dance with some people from my previous ward and that made all the difference. I felt more happy and knew I had made the right choice. Another reminder to make an intentional effort to connect with people every day.
Hot Cocoa Breathing
One of my coworkers in her lesson this week at the clinic shared the analogy of the “Stress Bucket.” As the name suggests, the stress bucket is a compilation of all of our stress factors in our life including: family, school, work, performance indicators, relationships, external expectations, etc. As the bucket fills up with more stress factors, we become weaker and more susceptible to acting out irrationally out of irritability. The second part in the “Stress Budget” analogy is the water nozzle, which releases the water inside. The “water” or the “stress” that fill our bucket can be released through exercising coping mechanisms. A client shared a coping mechanism that I have experimented with throughout the week called “Hot Cocoa Breathing.” This breathing exercise is broken up into two simple parts: 1) breathe in through your nostrils how you would breathe in the aroma of hot cocoa 2) blow out through your mouth how you would blow on hot cocoa to cool it down. You then repeat this exercise for as long as you need and find it helpful. This week when I noticed myself having high stress levels, I would take a break from studying and practice “Hot Cocoa Breathing.” This helped me mentally take a step back, creating space in my mind to more clearly see what I have completed, what I have yet to complete, as well as prioritize. This has helped me to alleviate some of the stress in my “Stress Bucket” that would stem from ruminating on everything on my to-do list, which would overheat my mind and make me more prone to act on my emotions rather than my rationale. As we can see from this example, breathing techniques can indirectly help to “Begin with the End in Mind.” In addition to helping sort through daily mental tasks, practicing breathing techniques can help you focus on your purpose, or the reasons why you started. This week as I was making it a conscious effort to monitor my stress levels, I was reminded of the reasons why I do what I do each day. For me, the reasons why I put forth effort and energy to learn, build relationships, and work through hardships at school, work, church, my community, and at home is to become the very best version of myself for me, others, and God. As a future spouse, father, church leader, and therapist, I want to be the best role model who is alert, energized, intelligent, and compassionate.
A Closing Note
As Stephen R. Covey profoundly said, “If you don’t make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default.” Furthermore, Elder David A. Bednar has counseled, “You and I, however, are agents. We have the power in us to act, not simply to be acted upon.” Whoever you are an “agent” to, whether it be to God, family, friends, managers, teachers, clients, we all have the responsibility to become the best versions of ourselves. To utilize this life, this chance that we have been given (Coach Pain & Motiversity, When It Hurts - Motivational Speech). Let us all own up to this next week!
